Unbalanced

From time to time we like to have some of our students write their thoughts, stories or reflections on the blog.  Today we offer the thoughts of junior Jamie Edwards.

My life is unbalanced.  I have been striving my entire life to achieve balance.  Right now I feel pulled in a million directions.  I shouldn't be typing this now - I should be outlining the presentation I'm giving this Friday in comp class, researching for my history paper (before I leave for spring break and won't have access to the library), working on my studio assignment for tomorrow (hopelessly trying to figure out why the plotter never prints the color it shows on the screen and why foam core is impossible to cut), making an appointment to talk to my advisor and preparing for bible study tomorrow – but you know those things aren't really all that important.  Balance isn't important either.  In fact, balance is death.

Well, biologically, equilibrium is death.  Spiritually, equilibrium is death.  When things remain the same, constant, under control, under your control, where is God?  Where is faith?  You should always be striving, searching, moving.  God should always be moving in you, so that you may move for God.

 In my world continuously bombarded with assignments, interrupted by text messages, and centered around obsessively checking email, I worried about having time to lead a life community.  I worried about finding time for God.  In my search for balance I had pushed God out of the picture.  I mean, I still went to church most Sundays and came to bible study every Wednesday night, but I wasn't striving.  I wasn't allowing my spirit to be stirred, or more correctly put, I wasn't allowing the Holy Spirit to be stirred within myself.  I had become a passive Christian.  The reactions had stopped reacting, I had reached an apathetic equilibrium.  You could say, I needed a catalyst.  Some might say I've become a Catalyst, almost.

 Lately bible study with our life community has been great.  We've had a few of those “God things” happen.  The way events fall in order, and how the right person is in the right place at the right time, too much so to be a coincidence.  A lot of it is the stronger interpersonal connections being made within our life community.  The way you make a strong connection, do something completely unbalanced, crazy, make yourself vulnerable.  Tell us about the things you'd rather gloss over.  Crazy, huh?

Well, there is not a more crazy, unbalanced demonstration of extravagant love than that of Christ, the one we strive to emulate.